Is public affection charming?

Public displays of affection (PDAs) can be so welcome when done correctly, but so embarrassing if not. Some of us are too shy to enjoy them. Others may be too shy to attempt them. But PDAs don’t have to make you nervous or get your face slapped.

A step above the rest
Sheila, a New Yorker, had a wonderful PDA on her third date with her current boyfriend.

“He’s more than a foot taller than I am. As we were walking back from dinner, he stopped, pointed to the steps of a brownstone and said that it was ‘perfect.’ He guided me up the first step; while he stayed on the sidewalk…I wasn’t sure what he was up to. Then he leaned forward and gave me a long slow kiss. The step was just the right height for us to kiss comfortably. He caught me off-guard, and I was completely charmed by the gesture.”

The lesson here is that PDAs are often best when spontaneous and done with confidence.

The good and the bad
The very nature of good PDA requires a hint of exhibitionism. While the rules of propriety, custom and modesty may be very strong, they are not as strong as your feelings of love. It’s a great compliment for the object of your affection. A good PDA will leave your lover a little breathless — from surprise and the strength of your feelings.

Not much needs to be said about bad PDAs. A bad PDA is an obvious, lumbering event: Extended make-out sessions in restaurants or a couple rolling around together in a public park. Bad PDA smacks of adolescence rather than passion; whereas good PDA occurs when passion cannot wait for a private moment.

A third option
There is another form of PDA: The special delivery. This is a particularly good strategy for those of us who are a little bit on the shy side. It’s very simple. You have something delivered to the one you adore in public, like her place of work. The idea is to attract some attention, to show those around her that she is loved by someone attentive and with taste. Speaking of taste, it’s best to avoid the obvious. If sending flowers, don’t send roses; be creative.

But remember, if you aren’t shy, a traditional public display of affection is best. Moments when private passion becomes public are more memorable then flowers or chocolates.